there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
