That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck appropriateness.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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