Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
