dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
