she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
