Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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