I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
