I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
