i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
