We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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