Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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