The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
