I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
