You can't special order awesome
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
