i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
