yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
