It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
