The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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