we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
