yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
