lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I puked a lego.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
