No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
