check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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