i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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