Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
