we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
