I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
