what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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