Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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