sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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