What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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