maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
