His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
