It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
