so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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