She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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