He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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