We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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