At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
