I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
