i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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