with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
