I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
