do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
