There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
