I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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