My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
