Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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