This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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