from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize