she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
