I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
